Dear Annie: My husband and I have been retired for three years and recently moved away from our kids. Between us, we have six children, but only one that takes advantage.

My husband’s daughter is in her mid-30s and has always used him like an ATM machine. This used to be merely annoying, but now it is becoming destructive to our finances. We are retired and living right now off the proceeds of our house we sold. She doesn’t get it and doesn’t hesitate to ask for money. Every month.

He has gotten to the point where he only says he sent her a little bit of money, but over the past three years, it has totaled over $50,000. That’s money we could have used to take much-deserved vacations that we both worked so hard to earn. When is it enough to get her to stand on her own with her kids and boyfriend? This is our only disagreement, and I don’t want to rock the boat with my husband, so do I confront his daughter? — ATM Step-Daughter

Dear ATM: Before talking to your stepdaughter, you should talk to your husband. Frame the conversation as a matter of financial sustainability and fairness rather than a criticism of his daughter. You might also want to ask why he feels compelled to support her financially, as this might reveal bigger issues.

The bottom line is that the more he says yes, the more she will keep asking — so it’s important that you and your husband are on the same page.

Dear Annie: When I married my husband, I knew that he took naps in the afternoon and did not sleep through the night. We got married at a young age, and this behavior continued throughout our marriage.

I’m not asking him to change. My question is: How much do I accommodate this?

For instance, I work an 8-to-5 job. In the morning, I’ll get up and make breakfast before work. My husband is often on the couch, and when I make a smoothie or get ready, he is within 10 feet of me, and I wake him up.

We have a spare bedroom, but he refuses to sleep in there, choosing instead to sleep on the couch in the living room in the middle of the house.

I woke him again this morning, and just before we were leaving, I asked if I had done something to irritate him. He said that I woke him up at 6:45. He also works at 8 a.m., but it doesn’t take him as long to get ready.

Am I thinking about this the wrong way? Do I need to be fully ready in the evening and tiptoe around in the morning so that I don’t wake him? I consider myself very accommodating and kind, but it has become very difficult. What are your thoughts, Annie? — Midwestern Wife

Dear Midwestern Wife: No, you are thinking about this in a very reasonable way. It’s your husband who should learn to be more accommodating.

Given that you both work during the day, it would probably be best for his health to sleep through the night rather than sporadically napping. But if he insists, then he should at least doze off in places that won’t be disruptive to you as you go about your morning routine.

Explain to him that you respect his sleep needs but the current arrangement is unsustainable.

Propose solutions such as the spare bedroom, or even ear plugs or a noise machine. You shouldn’t have to tiptoe around your own home.

Annie Lane’s second anthology — “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Go to http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.