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Who likes boats?

September 3, 2014 - Evan Reid
I like that music plays in downtown Iron Mountain near The Daily News office, even though the tunes are bland sometimes.

However, there is this one song that gets played every once in a while — a song I had never heard previously — that is like a black hole of musical blandness, threatening to consume everything in its path.

The lyrics are what immediately struck me about the song, which is otherwise a forgettable slice of what we call “adult contemporary.”

Behold the words to the chorus:

I like boats/I like the way they float

I like boats

It took several attempts, but eventually Google led me to the name of the song and the artist. It’s called “I Like Boats” (unsurprisingly) and is by a band called Mumbo Gumbo. “I Like Boats” is off of the 2007 release “Deep Soup,” in case you were wondering.

Is “I Like Boats” the worst song ever? No. Is it the worst song ever that nobody has ever heard of? Maybe.

At least one Amazon reviewer disagrees with me:

"Cures what ails ya! (five stars) I am convinced that if we could find speakers big enough for the whole world to hear Mumbo Gumbo we would achieve world peace. It is not possible to listen to this CD without smiling! The combination of soulful vocals and joyful cajun rhythms makes it a guaranteed success. I have purchased many copies of this CD to give to friends and family so that I could get my copy back!"

Decide for yourself here. World peace!

(In this video the song is used for the “McConnelling” internet trend started by The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart earlier this year. According to Urban Dictionary, “McConnelling is based off of a political advertisement released by U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell in which he signs some papers, and then turns his head up to smile at the camera.”)


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